Caregivers: Why Asking for Help Feels Impossible (And How to Fix It!)
Many caregivers struggle to ask for help, even when they desperately need it... The truth is that caregiving is not meant to be a solo job - it’s shared care.
If you’re a caregiver, you’ve probably heard this advice more times than you can count:
💡 “You need to ask for help!”
But let’s be honest - asking for help feels impossible sometimes.
Maybe you’ve thought:
❌ “I don’t want to burden anyone.”
❌ “It’s just easier to do it myself.”
❌ “What if they say no?”
You are NOT alone. Many caregivers struggle to ask for help, even when they desperately need it. But here’s the truth: Caregiving is not meant to be a solo job - it’s shared care.
In this post, we’re breaking down:
✅ Why asking for help is so hard (and how to reframe your mindset)
✅ The exact words to use to get real support (without guilt!)
✅ How to ask in a way that actually works—so people say YES
✅ Why small asks lead to long-term caregiving support
Let’s get into it.
Why Is It So Hard to Ask for Help?
Before we talk about how to ask for help, we need to understand why it feels so difficult.
Here are some of the biggest reasons caregivers hesitate:
1️⃣ Guilt – Feeling Like It’s Your Responsibility
Many caregivers feel like they should be able to handle everything. You might think:
👉 “This is my role—I can’t just pass it off.”
👉 “If I ask for help, does that mean I’m not doing enough?”
Truth: You are already doing more than enough. Asking for help doesn’t make you less of a caregiver—it makes you a smart and sustainable one.
2️⃣ Fear of Rejection – What If They Say No?
Maybe you’ve tried asking for help before and didn’t get the response you hoped for.
❌ Someone brushed you off.
❌ They made vague promises but never followed through.
❌ They made you feel like you were asking for too much.
Truth: If someone says no, it doesn’t mean your request was wrong. It just means you need to ask differently—or ask someone else.
3️⃣ “It’s Just Easier to Do It Myself”
We’ve all been there.
😩 “By the time I explain what I need, I could have just done it myself.”
😩 “I don’t want to deal with the frustration of teaching someone.”
Truth: This mindset is understandable—but it leads to burnout. Taking time to get support now saves you energy in the long run.
How to Ask for Help (In a Way That Actually Works!)
Now that we understand why asking for help is hard, let’s talk about how to make it easier—and actually get results.
1️⃣ Be Specific & Direct
People don’t always know how to help. Saying “I need help” is too vague.
Instead, try this:
✔ “Can you grab groceries for me on Sundays?”
✔ “Can you handle phone calls with the doctor’s office?”
✔ “Would you be willing to sit with Mom for an hour on Wednesdays?”
The more specific you are, the easier it is for people to say YES.
2️⃣ Give Options
Not everyone can physically be there, but that doesn’t mean they can’t help.
Instead of assuming they’ll say no, offer choices:
✔ “Would you rather help by bringing meals, making phone calls, or covering a bill?”
✔ “I could really use support. Would you prefer to help weekly or just on an as-needed basis?”
This removes the pressure and lets them choose how they want to contribute.
3️⃣ Normalize Asking for Help (Before You’re in Crisis Mode)
One of the biggest mistakes caregivers make is waiting until they’re drowning to ask for help.
💡 Instead, start small. Ask for tiny favors before you desperately need them. This helps people get used to being involved—so when bigger needs arise, they’re already in the habit of helping.
Caregiving Is Shared Care—Not a Solo Job
💜 You don’t have to prove your love through exhaustion.
💜 You don’t have to do everything alone.
💜 You deserve support just as much as your loved one does.
Your Action Step Today:
✅ Pick one thing you need help with.
✅ Ask one person to help—clearly, specifically, and without guilt.
✅ Practice saying YES to support.
#CaregiverSupport #DementiaCare #AskingForHelp #CaregiverBurnout #SharedCare #SelfCareForCaregivers #DementiaTips #YouAreNotAlone
You Are Not Alone
🫂 Join the Conversation:
Need a community where you can ask for help and get real support? Join my FREE Caregiver Support Group here 👉 Dementia Caregivers Academy Facebook Group.
📚 Resources to Support You:
Explore the Dementia Caregivers Academy Course for in-depth strategies and support.
PS.
This video is also posted on our YouTube Channel!
