Dementia and Intimacy: Understanding the Need for Connection & How to Maintain It

When we talk about dementia, we often focus on memory loss, confusion, and behavioral changes. But one aspect of dementia that often gets overlooked is intimacy - both emotional and physical.

Why Intimacy Still Matters in Dementia Care

Intimacy is a fundamental human need. It’s right there in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, alongside safety, food, and shelter. Whether it’s a simple hug, holding hands, or sharing meaningful moments, connection provides:

✅ Comfort and security
✅ A sense of belonging
✅ Emotional reassurance
✅ Reduced anxiety and agitation

For caregivers, maintaining intimacy offers a way to hold onto the bond with their loved one - even as things change. It’s a reminder that love doesn’t disappear; it simply evolves.

How Dementia Affects Intimacy

As dementia progresses, changes in memory, communication, and behavior can make emotional and physical connection more difficult.

Some common challenges include:

➡ Emotional Distance – Your loved one may become withdrawn or struggle to express affection.
➡ Communication Barriers – Verbal expression may fade, making emotional closeness harder to maintain.
➡ Environmental Challenges – Assisted living facilities often lack privacy, making intimacy difficult.

Despite these challenges, intimacy doesn’t have to disappear. Instead, it must be adapted to meet the changing needs of both the person with dementia and the caregiver.

Ways To Maintain Connection At Every Stage

Here are some practical ways to nurture intimacy throughout the dementia journey:

🔹 Meet them where they are – Instead of focusing on what’s lost, find new ways to connect in the present.

🔹 Use non-verbal connection – A gentle touch, a hug, or sitting quietly together can be deeply meaningful.

🔹 Create a private space – In a care facility? Advocate for quiet, uninterrupted moments to connect.

🔹 Normalize the conversation – If intimacy is important to you and your loved one, don’t hesitate to bring it up with care teams.

How to Advocate for Privacy in Care Facilities

If your loved one is in a senior care setting, maintaining privacy can be challenging. Try these approaches when speaking with care staff:

🗣️ “One thing that’s important for my loved one’s well-being is maintaining our connection. How can we work that into their care plan?”

🔑 “I’ve noticed that quiet moments of closeness help reduce anxiety. What steps can we take to ensure privacy for those moments?”

By framing intimacy as a part of holistic care, you’re advocating for your loved one’s dignity and well-being.

Final Thoughts

Dementia changes many things, but it doesn’t change the need for love, connection, and security. Intimacy might look different, but it can still be meaningful.

You Are Not Alone

🫂 Join the Conversation:

• Connect with others who understand your journey in the Dementia Caregivers Academy Facebook Group.

📚 Resources to Support You:

• Explore the Dementia Caregivers Academy Course for in-depth strategies and support.

Want to be part of a bigger community?

Join our private Facebook community for dementia caregivers; it's a kind, supportive space with others just like you. It's free to join, just follow this link (opens in a new window).

PS.

This video is also posted on our YouTube Channel!