“Caregiving doesn’t get easier on its own — it gets easier when the gaps are clear.”

The holidays are almost there, and while most of the world is slowing down, dementia caregivers are stepping up even more.

Between shifting moods, unpredictable behaviors, meals, medications, holiday expectations, and family dynamics… the season can feel like a minefield.

Caregiver Awareness Month may have ended on December 1st, but the caregiving hasn’t.

And that’s why I want to talk about something we don’t acknowledge enough, the gaps in healthcare.

Not mistakes.

Not failures.

Gaps.

Because once you can see them, you can finally start closing them calmly, confidently, one at a time.

Let’s break down the five biggest gaps I see family caregivers fall into every day (especially during the holidays).

1️⃣ The Behavior Gap: Reacting vs. Understanding

This is one of the biggest and most emotionally charged gaps in dementia care.

It’s the space between responding to what you see

and understanding what’s underneath.

When your loved one lashes out…

or refuses care…

or withdraws…

it’s easy to take it personally.

But behavior is communication.

Behind almost every challenging behavior is a:

• need

• discomfort

• fear

• misunderstanding

• or sensory overwhelm

The holidays amplify these triggers:

crowded rooms, loud conversations, unusual schedules, unfamiliar faces.

Closing this gap means learning to decode behavior before reacting to it.

When you understand why something is happening, you can respond with calm instead of chaos, and the entire tone of caregiving shifts.

2️⃣ The Medical Communication Gap: Leaving the Doctor More Confused

Nearly every family I speak with says the same thing:

“We left the appointment with more questions than answers.”

That’s the medical communication gap the space between the information you need and the information you receive.

It often shows up as:

• rushed appointments

• medical jargon

• unclear follow-up plans

• feeling unheard

• or trying to repeat your loved one’s story to every new provider

And during the holidays, communication gets even messier:

• rotating providers

• holiday staff shortages

• temporary physicians

• delayed responses

Closing this gap is about clarity and preparation.

Bringing the right notes.

Asking the right questions.

Communicating clearly about your loved one’s routines, triggers, and needs.

Because when providers understand who your loved one is not just what they have (the diagnosis) everything changes.

3️⃣ The Care Transition Gap: When Families Get Blindsided

This gap is heartbreaking because it’s preventable, but families fall into it every day.

A transition can be:

• a hospital admission

• a discharge

• rehab

• respite

• a move to assisted living

• or even returning home after a scare

What blindsides families is not the transition it’s the lack of communication between settings.

The symptoms don’t get passed along.

The triggers don’t get documented.

The “little things” that keep your loved one regulated never make it into the chart.

And suddenly, everything falls apart.

Closing this gap means having a plan ready before transitions happen.

It means ensuring key information follows your loved one wherever they go.

During the holidays when accidents, illnesses, and stress tend to spike this gap becomes even more important to close.

4️⃣ The Emergency Planning Gap: When Panic Replaces Preparation

If you’ve ever scrambled in the middle of the night because of a fall, wandering, or a sudden change, you know this gap intimately.

Most caregivers don’t know:

• where the medication list is

• which documents are needed

• what insurance requires

• what to bring to the ER

• who to call first

Until they’re right in the middle of the crisis.

That moment, their is heart racing, hands shaking, searching for information you wish you had organized, is the emergency planning gap.

And during the holidays, emergencies are more likely:

• more visitors

• more stimulation

• more fatigue

• more environmental changes

Closing this gap means having a simple “caregiver go-bag” and emergency plan ready.

It turns panic into preparedness.

It turns chaos into clarity.

5️⃣ The Emotional Fallout Gap: The Most Invisible One of All

This one is the quietest and the deepest.

It’s the internal weight caregivers carry:

• the guilt

• the grief

• the resentment

• the exhaustion

• the “I shouldn’t feel this way” cycles

This emotional gap widens during the holidays because expectations rise while energy drops.

You want to make things special.

You want to maintain traditions.

You want to keep the peace.

And you’re doing it all while your heart breaks in slow motion watching someone you love change.

This gap is where burnout grows.

Closing it requires restorative care, not indulgence, but preservation.

It means acknowledging your humanity and allowing yourself space to rest, breathe, and feel supported.

Because you cannot pour from an empty nervous system.

Finding Your Own Gaps

Inside the Caregiver Gap Report, there’s a quick self-assessment to help you identify where your biggest vulnerabilities are.

Most caregivers immediately spot one or two gaps that stand out.

Those become your starting point not from shame, but from clarity.

Because caregiving doesn’t get easier through willpower.

It gets easier when you know where the cracks are.

Once you see them, you can fill them.

What’s Next: The CareShift™

If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ve heard me talk about something new, something I’ve been quietly building behind the scenes.

It’s called The CareShift™.

It’s where we move from awareness to alignment from identifying the gaps to actually closing them.

And in December, I’m opening 100 early-access spots for caregivers to get a free sneak peek of The CareShift™ including one of my new communication tools:

🎁 The Holiday Communication Kit

A simple, powerful guide to help you navigate family conversations, expectations, and caregiving realities this season with more peace and less pressure.

You’ll also get a private video where I walk you through how to use it.

This isn’t a promotion.

It’s my thank-you for everything you’ve carried this year.

💜 Be one of the first 100 caregivers to join The CareShift™ Sneak Peek and get the free Holiday Communication Kit.

👉 Click here to save your spot.

Because awareness was step one.

The CareShift™ is step two.