It happened again she said

My loved one walked out the door before I could stop them.
And for a split second, I froze.

I was lucky this time- but what about the NEXT time?

Tears come easily nowadays - but it wasn't the wandering that broke me.
What broke me wasn’t the behavior.

It was everything around it.

The Behavior Was Just the Spark

Yes, the wandering was scary.
It was unexpected, disorienting, and emotionally exhausting.
But I had handled wandering before. I had read the tips. I had alarms. I had the strategies.

So why did it hit so differently this time?

Because it wasn’t just about wandering.
It was about the moment it happened — the mix of being overtired, behind on medications, disconnected from my support system, and unsure if anyone else even cared.

The behavior wasn’t the whole problem.
It was the spark that lit a fire on a pile of stress that was already burning. 

The System Around Me Wasn't Built for This

I want to be clear: I’ve worked with some wonderful professionals — kind, compassionate, well-meaning people.

But the system they’re working in?
It’s built for acute issues — a single diagnosis, a short-term plan, a discharge summary.

Dementia doesn’t work like that.
It’s layered. It’s progressive. It’s behavioral.
And when you’re dealing with something as complex as wandering, the answers can’t be limited to medication or a handout.

But that’s often what caregivers get.
A quick fix for a situation that actually needs a complete framework.

Caregivers Are Left to Fill in the Gaps

What broke me wasn’t just the wandering — it was:

• No one asking what else had been happening that week

• The guilt of wondering if I had left the wrong door unlocked

• The lack of coordination between the home health aide and the doctor

• The blaming from family who didn’t see the behind-the-scenes chaos

• The pressure of still trying to get through the rest of the day

And I know I’m not alone.

Most caregivers don’t just burn out from one behavior.
They burn out from the weight of everything around it — especially when they’ve been made to feel like they should have “handled it better.”

What Shift Her Out of Survival Mode

Things started to change when she realized she wasn’t just reacting to my loved one —
She was reacting to a broken system, unrealistic expectations, and invisible emotional labor.

That’s when we started mapping out the patterns.
Looking at what fueled the fire — not just what lit the match.

And this exactly why I created the Caregiver Gap Report — a free guide that outlines the 7 key places the system falls short for caregivers… and how to start building a more realistic and supportive plan.

👉 Download the Caregiver Gap Report now

This guide is for the moments when everything feels like too much — and you're not sure why.

It’ll help you:
- Understand why the system isn’t working for you
- See what you’ve been carrying that no one else sees
- Prepare for my free July 16 training: Decode the Chaos: What to Do When Dementia Behaviors Feel Impossible

If you're at a point in caring where the smallest behavior feels like it might break you — it’s not because you’re not strong enough.

It’s because you’re navigating a system that wasn’t built for the reality that you are living..

You’re not overreacting.
You’re carrying more than anyone should have to carry alone.
And you don’t have to anymore.

I’m here sharing for you, while you are caring for them.
—Laura

PS. You can also watch this video on YouTube:
🎥 Watch it now

🫂 Join the Conversation:

• Need a community where you can ask for help and get real support?
  Join my FREE Caregiver Support Group here
  👉 Dementia Caregivers Success & Support Network.

📚 Resources to Support You:

• Grab your Medical Assistance Planner and get organized.

• The Caregiver Gap Report — a free guide that breaks down what no one told you, and how to get the support you actually need.
  👉 Download The Caregiver Gap Report right now

• Explore the Dementia Caregivers Academy Course for in-depth strategies and support.

• Check out our other free Resources here.

dementia behaviors, dementia care tips, caregiver support, Alzheimer’s behavior problems, what doctors miss about dementia, caregiver gap, dementia aggression, dementia confusion, dementia training for families, dementia wandering