You’re patient. You’re loyal. You’re there 24/7.
So why does it feel like your loved one with dementia treats everyone better than you?

This is one of the most painful and isolating parts of caregiving:
They smile for the nurse.
They joke with the neighbor.
And then turn around and snap at you.

It feels cruel. But it’s not personal, it’s neurological. The brain is not working like it used to.

Reason 1: You're the Safe Person

People with dementia often lash out at the person they feel safest with.
Why? Because they know you’ll stay. You’re the constant.
So when the confusion or frustration builds, it gets offloaded onto the person who’s most secure, their caregiver.

Reason 2: They're Exhaused from Holding It Together

As dementia progresses, your loved one may not fully recognize your role.
You might feel like their daughter, but they see a stranger telling them what to do.
You feel like their spouse, but they confuse you for a caregiver or bossy nurse.

When recognition fades, resistance rises.
You become a symbol of control, not comfort, and I understand that,  hurts deeply.

Reason 3: Their Perception of You May Be Changing

As dementia progresses, your loved one may not fully recognize your role.
You might feel like their daughter, but they see a stranger telling them what to do.
You feel like their spouse, but they confuse you for a caregiver or bossy nurse.

When recognition fades, resistance rises.
You become a symbol of control, not comfort, and I understand that,  hurts deeply.

What You Can Do

You can’t control the disease, but you can protect your peace.

• Step away when needed
  

• Don’t argue- try redirecting or distracting
  

• Get support so your nervous system isn’t doing this alone
  

You matter too.

💜 Want a space where caregivers talk about this without shame or the guilt?
Come join us at Dementia Caregivers Success and Support Group- where others are walking this road alongside you. I hope to see you there!

Join our support group here.

I’m here sharing for you, while you are caring for them.
—Laura

PS. You can also watch this video on YouTube:
🎥 Watch it now

🫂 Join the Conversation:

• Need a community where you can ask for help and get real support?
  Join my FREE Caregiver Support Group here
  👉 Dementia Caregivers Success & Support Network.

📚 Resources to Support You:

• Grab your Medical Assistance Planner and get organized.

• The Caregiver Gap Report — a free guide that breaks down what no one told you, and how to get the support you actually need.
  👉 Download The Caregiver Gap Report right now

• Explore the Dementia Caregivers Academy Course for in-depth strategies and support.

• Check out our other free Resources here.