In dementia care, there’s a moment most caregivers dread: the day you know it’s time to take away the car keys.
It’s not just about safety. It’s about independence, identity, and trust.

In this blog, we’re not going to give you a checklist.
Instead, we’re sharing a story. Because for many caregivers, it’s not the facts that stick—it’s the feelings. And sometimes, knowing you're not alone is the first step toward peace.

The Keys Were in the Bowl-Just Like Always

Janet stared at them while tying her shoes. Her dad was sipping coffee in the kitchen, completely unaware that today might change everything.

He had gotten lost twice this month.
The police had called once.
And she hadn’t ridden in the car with him since he turned left from the right lane.

But today, something shifted.
It wasn’t panic—it was clarity.

“Dad, can we talk before you head out?”

That’s how it started. And like many caregivers, Janet knew this wasn’t just about driving. This was about safety… and the grief of what safety sometimes costs.

Dementia and Driving: The Signs Caregivers Can't Ignore

This is where we shift from story to insight—because Janet’s experience is far too common.
If you're a dementia caregiver wondering when it's time to step in, here are the signs that matter:

• Getting lost on familiar routes
  

• Calling repeatedly about where the car is parked
  

• Difficulty with directions or reacting at stoplights
  

• Increased near-misses, fender benders, or visible car damage
  

• Gripping the wheel tightly or driving too slowly out of fear
  

These are not normal aging moments. These are neurological warning signs.

And when they stack up, you don’t need to wait for a major accident to act.

Why It Hurts So Much to Take Away the Keys

Dementia doesn’t just change memory. It reshapes identity.
For many older adults, driving isn’t just transportation—it’s freedom. Purpose. Pride.

So when you take away the keys, you’re not just removing a privilege. You’re asking someone to grieve.
And as a caregiver, you’re grieving too—not just for what they’re losing, but for the role you now have to play.

This moment becomes a new chapter in your caregiver journey:

• You are now a boundary-setter.
  

• You are now a decision-maker.
  

• And sometimes, you will be misunderstood for it.
  

But that doesn’t make you wrong.

What to Say When It's Time

Janet didn’t use facts.
She used love.

Try starting with:

“I love you too much to watch something happen to you.”
“Let’s talk about how to stay safe without giving up everything you enjoy.”
“This isn’t punishment—it’s partnership.”

Let them help build the solution:

• Offer alternative rides
  

• Research senior shuttle options
  

• Call the doctor ahead of time and ask for support during appointments
  

Even if they don’t thank you today, you’re planting seeds of trust. And over time, those grow.

When the Doctor or DMV Won't Help

Many caregivers think the doctor or DMV will step in. But here’s what they don’t tell you:

• Most physicians won’t act unless you give them specific examples
  

• The DMV often requires a report or incident before intervening
  
  

That’s why you need documentation:

• Keep a log of concerns
  

• Take photos of car damage
  

• Write down any confusion-related driving calls
  

And sometimes… you get creative.
Maybe the car “needs repairs.” Maybe the insurance requires a test.
You’re not being deceptive—you’re buying time to keep them safe.

You Don't Have to Figure This Out Alone

Whether you’ve taken the keys already or you’re standing in the kitchen like Janet, wondering how to start—

You are not alone.

Inside my free caregiver support group, we talk about hard transitions like this every week.
It’s where honesty meets relief, and where no one has to make these decisions in isolation.

Join our support group here.

Final Words

Taking away the keys feels like crossing a line. But sometimes love looks like setting the boundary no one else wants to.

You don’t have to feel guilty for doing the right thing.
You just need the right support.

I’m here sharing for you, while you are caring for them.
—Laura

PS. You can also watch this video on YouTube:
🎥 Watch it now

🫂 Join the Conversation:

• Need a community where you can ask for help and get real support?
  Join my FREE Caregiver Support Group here
  👉 Dementia Caregivers Success & Support Network.

📚 Resources to Support You:

• Grab your Medical Assistance Planner and get organized.

• The Caregiver Gap Report — a free guide that breaks down what no one told you, and how to get the support you actually need.
  👉 Download The Caregiver Gap Report right now

• Explore the Dementia Caregivers Academy Course for in-depth strategies and support.

• Check out our other free Resources here.