Caring for a loved one with dementia can feel like a full-time act of love — and sacrifice.
But here’s the truth most caregivers aren’t told: nobody is coming to tap you on the shoulder and tell you it’s time to get help.

I recently spoke with a daughter who said, “I keep waiting for someone to tell me when I’m supposed to ask for help. But nobody’s coming.”

That moment stopped me in my tracks. Because this is the conversation so many families never have. We get the diagnosis. We get the medications. We get the follow-up appointments. But no one explains:

• How to recognize when you need more support
  

• What your options really are
  

• How to ask without feeling like you’ve failed
  

If you’ve been wondering whether it’s time for extra help in your caregiving journey, here’s how to know — and what to do next.

The Hidden Signs Your Body and Heart Are Telling You

Our bodies keep score long before we’re ready to admit we’re overwhelmed. Watch for these early warning signs:

• You wake up exhausted, no matter how much sleep you get.
  

• You’re getting sick more often.
  

• You find yourself snapping at people you love — not out of anger, but from running on empty.
  

I worked with a caregiver named Sarah whose mom had been living with her for two years after an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. She told me, “I feel like I’m disappearing. I don’t recognize myself anymore.”

That’s your heart speaking. When caregiving begins erasing who you are instead of adding to who you’re becoming, it’s time to look at support options.

Other signs include:

• Canceling your own medical appointments.
  

• Avoiding social situations because you can’t leave your loved one alone.
  

• Lying awake at night worrying about what happens if something happens to you.
  

These aren’t signs of dedication — they’re signals that the load has become too heavy for one person.

When Safety Becomes the Question

Many caregivers believe safety means preventing every possible risk. But real safety is about balancing quality of life with reasonable boundaries.

Consider extra support if:

• Your loved one is wandering and you’ve stopped sleeping because you’re listening for footsteps.
  

• They’re mixing up medications or forgetting to eat.
  

They’re having trouble with basic tasks like bathing or using the bathroom safely.

Needing help with safety isn’t a failure. It’s a recognition that dementia changes the care equation — and that you can be deeply loving and still need more hands on deck.

Understanding Your Support Options

Caregiving doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing choice between doing it all yourself or moving your loved one to a facility. There’s a wide range of support options:

In-Home Help

This can start small — a few hours a week so you can run errands or attend your own appointments. Options include:

• Companions for supervision and socialization

• Skilled nursing for medication management and personal care
  

Adult Day Programs

A great middle ground. Your loved one enjoys activities, cognitive engagement, and safe supervision, while you get time to rest, work, or focus on your own health.

Assisted Living or Memory Care

These communities are designed specifically for people with dementia, offering trained staff, tailored activities, and safety features that are hard to match at home.

Choosing one of these isn’t “giving up” — it’s making sure your person gets the right care in the right environment.

Making the Decision Without the Guilt

Caregiver guilt is real. Many of us believe we’re supposed to handle everything ourselves. But love isn’t measured by how much you sacrifice — it’s measured by the quality of care you provide.

When you’re healthy, rested, and emotionally present, everyone benefits — including your loved one. In clearer moments, most people with dementia don’t want their family to give up their entire life to caregiving.

If you’re feeling the tug in your chest that says “maybe it’s time,” trust that feeling. You don’t have to decide everything today — but you can start:

• Naming the signs you’ve noticed.

• Exploring your options.

• Asking what good care looks like for both of you.
  

The Families Who Thrive Build Support Early

After years of working with families, I’ve seen one consistent pattern: the caregivers who thrive are the ones who build support before they’re desperate for it.

Support doesn’t mean you’re less committed. It means you’re planning ahead, protecting your health, and ensuring your loved one gets the best possible care — now and in the future.

You deserve help. Your loved one deserves care that’s sustainable. And sometimes, the most loving choice is to bring in more hands, more expertise, and more resources than you can provide alone.

I’m here sharing for you, while you are caring for them.
—Laura

PS. You can also watch this video on YouTube:
🎥 Watch it now

🫂 Join the Conversation:

• Need a community where you can ask for help and get real support?
  Join my FREE Caregiver Support Group here
  👉 Dementia Caregivers Success & Support Network.

📚 Resources to Support You:

• Grab your Medical Assistance Planner and get organized.

• The Caregiver Gap Report — a free guide that breaks down what no one told you, and how to get the support you actually need.
  👉 Download The Caregiver Gap Report right now

• Explore the Dementia Caregivers Academy Course for in-depth strategies and support.

• Check out our other free Resources here.